Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 6:47 PM
No one understands how everything and everyone is important to me.
Basically my life is just a piece if garbage.
I'm not as emotional as I sound.
I've learnt that life comes with disappointments and just plain bad luck.
I've gone through way too much to know that truth.
I've earned that truth really.
I blame myself though.
I never explain myself when I need to because I'm always too mad or annoyed.
I sigh at my friends saying they don't understand because I never want to explain.
I lose people who genuinely care about me because I sigh at them.
I will end up fighting my battles alone because I keep losing people who genuinely care about me.
I'm so useless.
I can't even convince people to believe in my dreams. Even if it doesn't affect them.
All I've heard has been
"Seriously?!"
"You're kidding right?"
"It's so hard"
"Oh."
"I never really thought that you'd.."
And I have my pride not to give up my dream but it doesn't mean I don't get discouraged.
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
It's me against the world.
And the world fucking hates me.
I'm not implying there's nothing truly amazing about my life.
I cherish the little things like when it gets 5degrees warmer or when I go for sleepovers.
Maybe a 100% on a test or a warm hug.
But If life only has the little things, and all the real things crumble.
What's left?
I'm a complete hypocrite though.
I just told Elena that life IS worth living.
That the small things can make you happy.
I'm a fucking liar.
Labels: complaints, family, life
