Friday, April 22, 2011, 10:50 PM
I don't know what' i'm doing or going to do. I've said how I don't like who I am but I don't know what type of person I should be at all. I can't tell the difference between right and wrong, good or bad. I'm just emotionless about everything. Waiting for days to pass, something to happen. Which I know won't. Till I actually do something.
Being here for 6 month's now, I've realised, I know, I understand that I have to move on. To not cling on to the past. The lifestyle, the people. But it's not easy. I sit here in front of my computer screen, thinking about what could've been different, how things would be. It hurts so much. The things i'm missing out on, the people that have replaced me. I have my own friends, my own life, my own issues, my own experiences. My mind still can't help but linger on the past. I resent myself for feeling like this. It's childish and useless. An utter complete waste of time. But why do I still feel the way I feel?
I can't grasp anything about my life. All I can count on is my mom and God.
I have to stop wasting my life like this. Grow up Jade, grow up. You're almost 19. You can't always be this little girl that everyone protects.
Labels: rant
